So....maintenance found the bullethole.....
want the rest of his teeth to fall out while he slowly dies alone. Pretty sure I'm to the anger phase.
Does having a sippy cup full of wine, at an outlet mall, qualify you as 'having a problem'?
That was an excessively violent trivia night
I need you to do me a favor and hide my sword from me tonight. I'm planning on drinking my weight in vodka and I don't trust myself enough to not run through campus screaming "I AM SPARTA!" You'll be saving me a mugshot as well as saving some innocent girls from tears.
This is what we get for YOLOing our way to obesity
Somehow those two combined like captain planet and shit went haywire
its ok, the prom king gave me his crown to puke in
Is it festive if I masturbate to Santa porn?
Dude, you were tagged in a stripper FB selfie. That is a whole new level of something.....
Basically all I do anymore is get stoned with my cats, and then we share goldfish.
Banged a girl last night wearing nothing but my Team USA Olympic jersey. I think it's safe to say that nut was for America.
Woke up in a house I don't know, with someone else's pants on, and wolverine hair, to my girlfriend yelling on the phone about the 4 girls I made out with last
Why would you ask him if you could lick his chest?
He has a very lickable chest
Everything is scary i hate being an adult i hate responsibility tell me a dick joke
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