Who has a tranny cab driver? I have a tranny cab driver.
i luv seein jocks study. its like watching monkeys masturbate.
Corey Haim died. 80's me is so sad
over or under 1pm before my bracket is too blurry to read?
Well after last night it's official...I cannot die...it time to use this power for good instead of handle contests
I'm trying to think of how to explain to the dentist tomorrow that I think I pulled my jaw muscle eating pizza while drunk.
You texted me "Americans are sad" and "chicken coop disaster" without any further explanation.
I'm going to make an art book filled with pics of me peeing in every bar bathroom I've ever been in. Dedicating it to you. You're welcome.
It was a deal breaker when she told me not to wear a condom and god would decide if we were meant to be together.
Just proved I could salsa dance in a bar where no one was dancing
Sidenote...no idea how to salsa
There are rocks in my bed. And dirt all over my face. Explain?
Just be happy that you're the pretty friend. Otherwise you would have had to walk home alone, like me.
You gotta hand it to him. 6 hours in a new town and he's already fuck someone, had his ass kick by her bf, and rounded up a posse of people to kick this guys ass.
Do you think there are two dudes living in an apartment somewhere that go to the store and call it Brocery shopping?
Oh god...probably.
Sorry. Im too sleepy to penis.
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