i just heard Winston Churchill in auto-tune. thank you nerds.
I have bruises on the inside of my thighs from sliding down the stair case...thanks for encouraging that slut show
It's like the god of all feather dusters, but for your vagina
It really is the softest mustache
Whore. There is deli meat in my wallet.
IT'S A HOLY FESTIVAL. A BUDDHIST CELEBRATION OF PENIS.
Excuse me while I download incredibly disturbing porn until I'm more ashamed of myself than of my country.
I forgot how weird my hair bleaches and now I'm a calico
You can wake up to my rainbow of failure
I like how zombie Abe Lincoln and hooking up with a girl were on your same thought process.
So question... If I'm sexting with uncircumcised guy, do I have to add *then i gently pull your foreskin down*?
Nothing says summer like lemonaid, but nothing says fuck yeah summer like lemonaid and vodkavodka
can we just punch him in the dick and call it a victory for feminism
How do you say "thats kinda illegal" in thai?
So I definitely tried to pay a cab with baseball tickets last night
hey at least you are getting hit on, i spent all day researching cat sedatives
What time is our conjugal visit?
Umm...who is this?
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