he looks like a really good dad on facebook
he likes ron paul.... that's all i'm going to say....
she got pretty angry when i tried to superglue her fingers together.
there's a wings menu taped to my wall. don't tell me i don't have my priorities straight.
thanks for at least making it out of the pool before you threw up
I told the bartender that he could give me back the tip I gave him if he outsmarted me in a battle of wits. He has yet to challenge me.
Btw after this weekend the chipndales costume has a 125% success rate.
I think our prof has caught onto our drinking game. He burst into the room with a big smile on his face and yelled "essentially! Essentially! Essentially!"
I told him I was on the pill and it was OK to fire away. I want to never have to wear panty house or ever go to an office again. This is my early retirement plan. I want half of his NBA money.
I was just thinking about our drunk conversation about having sex with elephants the other night. Love you bud. Stay strong.
Don't judge me 👊🏼 his dick just whispers my name
No, you are in the clear. The police officer finally just said "I give up" and walked away.
Did u guys seriously make a betting pool on when im going to get pregnant???
Yep, wanna bid?
This is the worst drive ever. Im hungry, hungover, i gotta shit so bad, and the only radio station im getting clearly is playing alvin and the chipmunks christmas songs
MDMA, margaritas, mashed potatoes and ice cream aren't keto Kristin
Randomize
