I basing my decision on whether or not to date someone on whether I could imagine having sex with them sober
As of tonight I have officially had sex during every Disney movie.
im pretty sure thats the first step to being a pedafile
it was like fucking with batman, he had gadgets i never even imagined
dad just smoked me out. he's yelling at room service for not giving him cookies and milk with his towels...we're both too high to know if thats a legit complaint.
He was wearing his Class of 2007 shirt so I sat there for 5 minutes and read all the names of the guys I can remember giving head to.
you were passed out in your cheese fries by the time he brought out your second order of french toast.
You're welcome to join, but just to warn you, tequila makes my clothes disappear. And I'm telling you that as an adult to an adult, not as your supervising teacher who decides whether or not you graduate.
I feel like I'm laying on a pillow cloud. With little baby angel fingers between me and the cloud lifting me up. Singing hymns in my ear.
This was like angel cum on the bread of life filled with the nectar of the gods
I know you're on a date and I should leave you alone but about twenty minutes ago I realized I haven't been spanked in years so if you're still looking for a birthday present, you know, consider it.
pesky things like morals, self-preservation and cowardice are not needed. overkill is nothing but a word. there will be blood.
Fun FACT Saturday: Semen is great for my acid reflux
I'd still fuck that
You'd fuck a dead moose
Quite possible
I woke up with my winter coat on, next to a polaroid of me, her and a swan...so no I don't remember our conversation.
I don’t have enough daddy issues for this shit, make him go away
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