honestly, who buys weed with an unemployment check?
you.
oh yeah. preciate
My butt just had a miscarriage. It was yours. I'm sorry. You would have been a great sexually confused parent.
A squiggle pen was my first vibrator back when I was young. I would lock myself in my bedroom with that thing. Oh to be 8 again.
Girls should come with a carfax report
Dude someone is playing the piano in the other room while I shit and it's making it really peaceful
I'm gonna have sex with a woman...help
Nothing like a little anal leakage to start off Sunday morning. Can't decide if that speaks well of my weekend or not...
did i send you the picture of me smiling with the magnum wrapper?
Trevor is horny so he just called me to tell me all the things that he would like to do with his future wife. That's a new one.
Would your heart desire to drink copious amounts of alcohol tonight?
Nope. Too much basics going on right now. I'm tying you both up and throwing you to the vibrating sexy toy sharks. You shall either sink or get off gloriously.
Don't be alarmed when we finally get naked and I let out a WOOHOO!!!
How fast can you get here?\nI need to ride your cock into the sunset.
don't do laundry while your drunk! i found a ketchup bottle & clothes hanger in the washer this morning!
21st birthday weekend in Vegas has concluded and all I'm missing is my underwear and 'Contacts' icon on my phone home screen.
Randomize
