How's tricks little girl?
Trix are for kids, old man.
You yelled "bananas are an excellent source of pottasium!"4 times in the middle of class. how do you not remember?
I don't even know what potassium is.
I started the year with 2,800 dollars and am now down to 83 dollars-one of which i use to snort my focalin. I have given up on food and am perplexed as to how I can make 82 dollars last more than two weekends for booze
Using his name makes it all too personal. I refuse to get attached to this one. This is all about ass. He doesn't get a name.
btw im making up a story about these stitches..... i think a hockey stick to the face sounds better then i fell up the stairs
Sex tent. say it aloud its amazing. promise you we rnt stoned.
I'm still not sure if it was intentional, but the chiropractor definitely cradled his balls on my shoulder. He even seemed to adjust the sack for comfort. I think I should be flattered. He is a doctor, after all..
I really am. The stoner chick wants to get a python.
She wanted to make popcorn, but the air-popper was broken. So she dumped the entire container of kernels into the clothes dryer. Drunk movie night was a success!
Did I get stoned on a sunday afternoon and speak to someone on the phone for an hour about cats and their behaviour? Glad you asked. And yes.
So hungover. Have a black eye from where I tried to brush my teeth and stabbed myself in the eye instead. Should make the performance review I was stress drinking about go so much better.
day drinking caused me to be in bed at a decent time. can't complain.
One of my pillows is missing but it's cool because there is a beef stick.
I'm not saying i'm drunk
But i'm drunk.
Next thing I know her tits are out on my desk. It was straight out of a porno. What was I supposed to do I’m not made of stone
Randomize
