Having sex with her is like doing taxes, Happens once a year and I usually end up paying.
Take off that red sweater and wear my vagina as a facemask.
Girl at work pointed out that the blood vessels around my eyes were all popped and I smell like puke
He's living a porn movie. He's slept with a waitress at her work for lunch, a bar tender at the bar that night, and the cleaning lady the next morning.
i miss freshman lecture halls much harder to take shots in a class of 20
Can't a white girl just get drunk on a Sunday night and eat rice crispy treats. SHIT
Can I please come dance in my bra to destiny's child with you? I'll bring the wine and the glitter
Last night he ate BBQ Pringles out of my boobs...I feel like it was moderately productive
You ate my pie without asking. So don't get butt hurt if I send you link to plus size clothing stores.
I walked out ot my car in the morning thinking there was a sandwich I left there from yesterday. Then later that day I was checking the mail and saw the other side of my car :/
It concerns me the most that u were potentially going to eat a day old car sandwich.
I'm naked on my couch and just ate a chip that was in my belly button.. my 20s have been weird.
Calm down I'm not kidnapping the bartender
I don't know who's idea it was to get wine for a frat party but my poor pitiful hung over self really fucking hates them.
Next time we do shrooms i am finding an open field at sunrise and running through it and nobody is stopping me this time!
BRB. These cougars are squabbling over my junk and one of them is offering to pay my tuition
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