Just made a drug deal by throwing my money to my dealers window and receiving weed the same way. We are the definition of typical lazy stoners.
Oh come on. There's no way I was the only female choir student taking shots in the back room.
Idk wtf I would do on a date. I thought wed passed that stage at least for a while. Nowadays dates should consist of blackouts and shameful mistakes.
the game I always play with drunk me is can-you-button-and-unbutton things? If the answer is no, go home. Usually it's his pants
OK am i seriously the only one who thinks Cocaine Tuesdays is a bad idea?
Mango bong: no go. Guava bong: sweet flaming buddha it was delicious. I shall teach you the ways of tropical fruit trees.
I'll just have to do enough fangirling for the both of us. Nipples engaged.
Shit, my parents are coming over and I just realized that a grinder is not an acceptable paperweight
I think anything that happens between 12 and 2 am is just sketchy enough to be a good idea.
Wait I'm all alone with a guy and his turtle
Its like I've been given a sexual blank check.
Why the fuck is there a goat in the kitchen
That's so awful of me. Instead of comforting her I masturbated in front of my ex-boyfriend.
Apparently i tried to feed this guy's piranhas my whole left arm.. according to him, i was "showing them whos boss, bc if they try to eat my arm, im guna punch their face"
People probably think I’m a fangirl bc I go to so many shows but it’s really bc I like fucking the tour manager
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