I just spent the last hour reading customer reviews on amazon.com for the book "it hurts when I poop." Send help.
just took my ibuprofen with ramen broth, yay college
its no coincidence her full name and "cling" are the same in t9
whos cum tastes better, a guy who drinks apple juice or cranberry juice?
you inspire me to be a worse person
Totally just projectile vomited while ridind a bicycle.
I think she's perpetually drunk
It's all she knows
No no no no no no.... That's my emergency bottle for when I realize I've hit rock bottom
Did you really get 12 corn dogs from the gas station last night?
I can't tell if my bong is gender-neutral or not
Super awkward when the coworker you made out with in exchange for molly last weekend keeps coming over to your cube and trying to talk to you
Gotcha. How bad is it?
Well to compare it to something I would say it what's that walls would like inside the primate exhibit at the zoo after a group of monkeys finished throwing feces at each other all afternoon
Double check your contract and see if it says anything about sleeping with your manager
On a scale of 1 to shit show you were "i just pissed myself"
It started off with wine and ended up with me in only my pearls and heels. It was about the classiest sexual experience I've ever had.
Randomize
