he walked in on you at the party drunkenly dancing alone on the bed wearing mardi gras beads, sunglasses, and using one ski pole as a microphone.... and you STILL got laid. i dont get your life.
its not fair. if i was a guy, i'd be getting a high five for banging two in one night.
It was awful until we put her on a word ration. And she rationed her words accordingly. I love blondes.
Kill yourself wednesday started off with a bang, and im pretty sure im still drunk from tequila tuesday.
Yeah well margarita Wednesday already came twice this week and it's just now Wednesday
I just got a msg from someone saved in my phone as "gouiys stAndingg nezxt me not oz". Omh my life.
There's sex hanging in the air like a pinata. European people are no joke.
My only regret is that we didn't pee on our neighbors Prius
Gym?
Sweet baby Jebus, no. I'm Motley Crue hungover. This must be how it feels to rail a line of ants.
True love: he brought me a margarita while I was n the shower. He's a keeper.
If I had your job the next day id be on the news. And not the good news. Like fox & friends. Nancy grace would have my ass.
Also I've come to learn that "type" and "fetish" are different things. Apologies for earlier confusion.
We knew we were dealing with a pro when some random guy at the bar thew you over his shoulder and you still didn't spill your drink
Strangely enough, that's not the first time that's happened
they saw the dick pic he sent and started calling him 'subway'
I am cleaning melted cheese out of my hair. This is a new experience for me
Randomize
