I totally have a Rabbi on speed dial now. Keep it Kosher.
i'd like someone to explain to me why my clothes are all sticky. including my fanny pack. yes, this is a mass text.
wait can you just look around please? that was my favorite bra and i've already asked like 3 other guys
can we meet up so i can piece together the end of my night? for instance, did i jump or fall into a plant?
Pretty much gone. He was in the backseat and kept whispering that his "toes felt like pigtails"
I smell like fire and strippers. Successful sunday funday.
You were definitely doing something right. You could only see the colored parts of his eyes a couple of times. I was pretty sure he was dead at some point.
I took an adderall. This is weird. My eyes are really wide open and I am really good at staring. I've written on 9 peoples walls and updated my status. I am getting shit DONE!
I went back to the party but by then they were all sitting on the floor in the dark listening to we are the champions on full blast.
Dude...I slept walked to the free condom bin in the lounge last night. I don't know why.
Man, you got so high you own goaled yourself in FIFA then got up celebrating.
For the first time in my life, I still have money by the next payday. Who is this responsible person and what have they done with the real me?
He doesn't like Sabbath and that alone is a GIANT red flag. Learn from my experiences and never, I mean NEVER associate with people that hate Black Sabbath and Motörhead.
I just described cereal to my mother as "acoustic breakfast soup".
who is this
He kept apologizing that the nerve damage makes him take a while to finish. Meanwhile he gave me 3 orgasms and a leg cramp
Only you could benefit from a reckless driver
Randomize
