Yea I just took my 1st pregnancy test. Turns out I am just fat. Also I haven't been with anyone in 3 months, which is clearly making me crazy.
She was asian and in a relationship... my two weaknesses
your goal of the night was to unlock your iPhone with your nipple. You're going places.
the spit in my mouth is still 99% not mine.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i dont care if it was her birthday. if she leaves me with a half rack of budweiser and her boyfriend obviously shits gonna go down.
We lost Kevin again. Probably kidnapped by fattie 2 or butter-face 2 from last night. We need names and any information you can give us. Last scene with his shoe laces converted into a belt.
I just made the answer to all my security questions "fuck you" with various levels of ! marks. I may regret this in the morning.
I told you, we're just gonna get ripped and light sparklers
Apparently, "please don't I have to be in court tomorrow" is not a valid excuse for a girl to abstain from giving a massive hickey.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Damn you and your marathon penis with its superhuman capabilities
A bee came out of the shoe box and stung her. Even the insect community doesn't want her in those hideous things.
well what the fuck is the POINT of teetotal mardi gras
Nothing like casual arson to brighten your day
Just ate 2 pieces of pizza in the shower.. New low or fuckin brilliant??
I woke up with my shoes on but pants in the fish tank
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