but i am gonna have to have sex w/ him again to get my earrings back
He asked if it was my vagina. I told him it was my butt. Clearly I need to buy him a map of the female form.
Must be January. Theres a fat chick on an elliptical wearing khaki capris. Someone doesnt own any workout clothes
guess who has a date tonight
look at you growing up, going on dates before she hops into bed
There's a certain level of slut that i can handle.... I think she just broke that scale
I hope there's a soldier with a Bedazzler just going to town right now.
She kept throwing quarters at him and yelling "Goooaaallll!!" whilst taking her clothes off one by one. I'd say she had a good night
TOUCH YOURSELF. DO IT.
I don't think that's how you're supposed to sext
You Just stopped dancing, looked at me and said "I'm gonna make it rain" Then shook the open box of crunch berries everywhere.
Stocking up on Wasabi powder. Nobody's tampons are safe.
you must be at least a level 5 friend to unlock my sexual orientation
Kinda hard to look your partner in the face the day after a rousing game of How Many Ways Can I Capture Your Penis.
His family, without saying anything, started a game of quarters the moment the drinks arrived. I love them. If only I didn't hate him so much.
I have two bottles of emergency tequila stashed under my desk at work.
there is a tent in the living room. its a vip tent room. i want in.
Randomize
