Reason #57 I am going to fail the bar... it's Tuesday and i'm drunk at Toy Story 3.
New game: Step 1) Turn on ESPN. Step 2) Drink every time someone says "LeBron."
blah blah blah they called me an alcoholic because I threw my beer at a Jesus freak. it was for the best
The other. Cat spoke to me and left. This shit is laced
The first cat might save me but they are taking out masks
New drinking game. Every time Romney and Santorum switch leads, take a shot.
....this is what your political science major is getting you?
my brain is opting to stay half drunk rather than relearn how to think. the rest of me is in no position to argue.
I dont know it just seems wrong to fuck her on my exes back porch
How are you feeling?
I mean, shattered dignity aside, not bad.
I don't like how my gyno is telling me how to live my life.
Next guy I fuck must be a cowboy
he told me that he only likes small dogs. I should have known he was going to end up being little bitch.
She's sent me the same nudes using the same gestures and positions... It's like she has a template for her sluty-ness
He's literally cuddling with the washer and dryer.
don't let your emotions get tangled in that sexy beard of his.
Somebody broke the sliding door, and someone ripped the toilet seat off the toilet. So yeah, pretty typical friday night
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