Rosebud was a fucking sled. Gay.
So what's the moral of this story? Aside from 'lesbians hold grudges'?
Got a basket, 50 condoms, some candy, 100 plastic eggs & my bunny costume. Campus will feel my wrath in 2 weeks
I'm too hungover to be in a fucking cow suit right now
He did the "not my house dance." Apparently it involves spreading cereal on the floor and then grinding into the carpet in bare feet while singing "not my house" over and over and dancing.
Tell me not to purchase 500 ball pit balls and a kiddy pool
No
Neither of us have work tomorrow and we live w/n walking distance. This is your official Sandy booty call. Come rock me like a hurricane.
Nothing says "lifelong friendship" like FaceTiming in a sex shop.
I climbed out a window to pee last night because i thought i was locked in the room... Then crawled back in and went to bed. The poor neighbors.
Less than a month to go... I do not understand how I was able to put up with a roommate who wears bright green Crocs for a year.
God if that man would just have sex with me every time I got mad life would be so much easier...
Glass of stolen champagne in a to go cup = tastiest hangover cure ever
Did you really think putting a napkin over your head would make you giving him a bj less obvious?
You’re welcome stay at my house. But, you gotta piss in the toilet
If it makes you feel any better I almost got kicked out of the bar for yelling "enjoy your celebratory incest"
I love you.
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