And. No one ejaculated on anyones face. This is all wrong
It was like my butthole was peeing. Felt comforting yet not fulfilling.
Mario Lopez is the poor mans Ryan Seacrest
Last night, my friend changed all my contacts in my phone. I have been texted by Batman, Donatello, and Hermione Granger. I have no idea who they are, and it doesn't upset me at all.
It's been five and a half years since she and my brother stopped dating. I feel like that's a long enough grace period. Going for it.
ambylanc
what?
there was an amgbulance. iw ish i was in it.
I think my sister is getting tired of me breaking into her house so I can sleep with random girls when shes not there
Honestly I will go to church for him, I will even try to quit smoking for him. But his dick is not worth losing alcohol. He sure as fuck isn't taking away our wine nights.
Yo, I can't just ask my mom where she relocated my vibrator to, can I?
Right now I'm in a club where they are passing out glow in the dark dildos by the dozen. I don't think my life will ever get weirder than it is at this moment.
He looks like he was the one that always had koolaid stains around his mouth as a kid, he can fuck off.
he brings me coffee and gets a blow job. not sure if I trained him or he trained me or it's simply mutually beneficial beautiful.
you left your anal beads in the dishwasher
I just had a visual of u banging and screaming at him at the same time.
You tried to run away last night. The neighbors brought you back.you were in their hot tub again. This needs to stop
Randomize
