peeing in bathroom at penn station and the homeless man next to me is combing his beard with a fork...god I love new york
I seriously fake cumming more than i poop.
How much explanation does bbqsexapalooza need?
My costume is made up of 4 inch heels and a firefighter costume I'm borrowing from the dramatic play area of my Pre-K classroom. I told you I could still be slutty on a teacher's salary.
We didn't have beer, so we played mini-beer pong with shots and frozen peas.
Just checked my phone. Sometime last night I googled sex positions in a tent. Was there even a tent there?
I kept petting the scarves and telling customers to "feel that shit"
Stop drinking at work.
What time do you think you'll be heterosexual?
Preparing for the bar exam has made my whatever disorder you said I have act up again
As I was puking, these 2 guys started peeing next to me chanting me on
I just woke up hand cuffed to the bar and shirtless, so yeah I think I need you to come get me.
Just got the test results back; apparently I'm red-green colorblind. this explains the past 18 years of my life and i'm wondering why i didn't realize this sooner
I should probably add her on Facebook for as much as I cheat off her in Physics, huh?
I just found out through a drunken phone call that my parents thought I'd grow up to be a porn star. It's kind of scary how accurate they were at how skilled I'd be at sex.
wow. that really looks like a penis. not a top hat
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