Lets date for the summer
what?
Dont love me in September.
As a driver I hate pedestrians, and as a pedestrian I hate drivers, but no matter what the mode of transportation, I always hate cyclists.
I looked him in the face and asked if we could stop. he asked why. I said "I can't feel it.". ...I feel bad; I should have faked.
I mean, she is a dancer for the Suns. If I didnt fuck her that would just be bad team spirit.
just saw an anti-abortion rally outside of the courthouse...so naturally i tossed them out a coat hanger i found in my car
Did you write "I hope this gives you aids" on my box of capn crunch?
Just so you know I would totally fuck you. Does that count as a feeling?
Friends dont let friends get hit with a flaming baton without warning
Not enough. Tell the person next to you to give you their drink. I give you permission. And then chug it. Be a hero tonight.
Announcement: Given the sad circumstances regarding the death of my dearest friend Chong the Bong, there will be a brief memorial service for him tomorrow evening at 10:30 at my place. After sharing some memories and sending his spirit off to the great bowl in the sky, we will all take place in the commemoration and maiden voyage of his son, Chong Squared, who eagerly waits to meet all of you. High blessings to you all, piece be with you.
The sad thing is; I'm getting used to walking around feeling like I could hurl at any minute.
My boss followed me on Twitter. Excuse me while I delete 90% of my tweets
Well, I was asked to leave the Waffle House for "being to physical" so I think that option is off the table
he called me 'mate' and i had to remind him that you dont call people mate who continously make your dick hard
I'm just saying, if you haven't been dropped off at a Wawa at 5:30 in the morning by 3 cop cars, you're missing out
Randomize
