She punched me in the face after i pulled it out and grabbed my cell phone. Ill be the one hiding in the bushes with one shoe.
if i could have babies with my dog i totally would cause i know thay would be fucking hott babies.
we were so high last night we were cutting bread with my iphone
I have a king size bed, I guarantee multiple orgasms, and I'll give you a ride home in the morning. Respond quickly.
We role played last night. I was Brandon Inge and she was some slut from Toledo. Let's just say Triple A might not be so disappointing after all.
Depending upon how the Sox game progresses, I'll either cry on the bar or fuck someone tonight...
My Grandma made me promise not to drink more beer, so I'm chugging wine.
Thought it only fitting this Jubilee weekend to snort lines with a 50 note
Your patriotism amazes me, the Queen would be proud!
Was my mother there when I broke the stipper pole?
I hooked up with a guy that had a beard last night felt like I was building a fucken log cabin
I believe the question is can one ever have too many vibrators?
If you could come do me into like a 12 hour coma that'd be great
Sorry I bailed on you yesterday. I was propositioned.
And you don't turn down margaritas and oral.
Basically, I am an endless fountain of unconvential sexual experiences and knowledge.
it was like 6 shots in and he was automatically my type
Randomize
