I cockslap morals
I attract so much trash. The guy that is engaged and kissed me is here so is his fiancé. I feel likeshw knows and will cut me in the bathroom might happen. If I'm not at the pool tomorrow she has blonde hair and is really flat.
I let some guy put hot sauce in my asshole for his birthday
They are providing beer and having a margarita machine. This cannot be passed up.
I don't know what part of vegas I'm in but its definately the wrong part
Well my dea agent brother is visiting so I'm gonna get high and see if he notices
You stood next to him taking HUGE gasps of air in an attempt to second hand smoke his cig because you didn't have one...
Tried to eat a chip. Mouth wouldn't cooperate. Nearly died. Wow I've missed this.
I haven't found him passed out in the living room covered in noodles for a while now so I guess he's getting better with the drinking.
Just heard the girl at the bar cuss her bf out and order a long island ice tea. Going to give it 5 min then I'm going in. See you on the other side.
Getting drunk in an Applebee's pray for me
Lord god protect this child
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
Is there a reason drunk me put drunk you's phone in the freezer?
Everytime I come home this stoned I masturbate in the shower for that long, its like my lonely ritual. Accept me.
My boss is paying me to come clean his house in a maid outfit and told me not to tell anyone....this is shady as fuck but I need the money
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