So I just found panties on our kitchen floor that had a slit in the vagina section. Does that mean shes open for sex, or she has a penis?
Hey you
You're the only one I'll text back during sex. what's up?
I puked the same amount of times as the number of bars i went to last night
we turned dreidel into a drinking game. i kept landing on gimel. im glad we have 7 more nights of this
What is the appropriate way to inform him that I am TOTALLY down for break up sex?
when seducing a hipster, do you think taking a nude pic on a lomo-camera app would increase my chances? grainy off-colored boobs and telling him how much i like reading salinger?
I blacked out for most of the day but apparently I still met with my prof. I made notes...
I will refer to it as the penis of glory... he fucked me for 3 and a half hours - and all he needed was a 5 minute power nap in the middle (which he took WHILE INSIDE ME). I plan on staying with him forever
New York City is dangerous when the only bars you go to are the ones that have 'open' in front
I cant go through life without knowing what ginger pubes actually look like
I woke up and my pants were in the kitchen but my shoes were next to my bed. Do the math...
We peed on a building I think...like a building in downtown...not out of view of anyone.
Just waxed 95% of the hair off my vag. If he doesn't enjoy this tonight, you will, whether you like it or not.
So turns out my new assistant isn't really my assistant. The owner needed a title for his FWB so his wife wouldn't catch on. I got a three hundred a month credit limit boost on my corporate credit card instead.
Do you think it's a bad sign of the outcome of the pregnancy test I'm about to take that I was eating a fudgsicle on the way into the drugstore? Would it make worse to tell you I also bought a big ass bag of Cornnuts?
Randomize
