Goddamnit I hate your level headedness
I woke up to him trying to put his dick in my mouth. When I asked him what he was doing he said he was trying to make me stop snoring...
i am watching brooke knows best right now and hulk is totally dating his daughter's look a like. it is gross and disturbing.
the most pressuring question is, why are you watching brooke knows best?.
wtf. i just found you're porn stash.
u like it?
NOT THE POINT.
do you want me to make hamburgers?
i'm vegan
i'll put lettuce on them
Woke up with a full plate of KFC next to my face. I didn't really question it.
Yeah, clearly. And then we can float around my room on Christmas themed inner tubes. And drink, I guess.
I think mom knows I'm drunk I put a full blown balloon in the fridge.
There's something very strange about masturbating in a hotel room. I feel like I'm cheating on my room...
he used the hotel microwave to cook the 16" pizza he bought at the walmart deli
He used a "food city great value" card to cut it
I have decided that today will be all about indulgence and hedonism.
So question... If I'm sexting with uncircumcised guy, do I have to add *then i gently pull your foreskin down*?
Security deposit gone.
burned down garage with fireworks.
I'm the kind of girl who misses her mouth when trying to eat, do you honestly think I'm coordinated enough to wear heels during sex?
How's the party?
I'm watching two people get flogged. Sothere's that.
Randomize
