did you wind up at some random place? and do you remember face planting into the fireplace?
i just walked in on my sister drunkenly sobbing to sarah mclachlan. its time for an intervention.
didn't that happen to you last weekend?
shut up.
Where's the Hot Mess Express headed tonight?
I hope that's not the new nickname for my friends and me.
i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i still was a whore
the non-midget kid sent 8,000 texts in a month. the midget parents are pissed. THIS IS EPIC WHEN YOUR HIGH.
I drew a venn diagram at the top of my final comparing stuff i know and stuff on the test.
So i was told that i peed in the sink, had sex with a pillow and banged on a washer while singing idian chants
Well now that I've given all the athletes mono there goes our chance of winning any conference championship
His beard is glorious and he smells like barbecue. Introduce me to him.
How do I discreetly dispose of sex toy packaging that is recyclable? What to do...what to do?
On a scale of one to liver failure, how bad would it be if I played thunderstruck alone?
You finished the fifth and then hid two dozen eggs around your apartment and declare that you would "quest for Jesus". Have fun questing today.
I yelled at the dude who smoked him up "YOU'RE THE REASON I'M NOT GETTING LAID" then went to bed. So yeah, I guess it was an ok night.
How does one acquire holy water?
gave up morals for lent, so far it's actually been really easy.
Randomize
