i hope you realize when i said "grib" earlier i was referring to the gridded binary, a mathematically concise data format commonly used in meteorology to store historical weather forecast data. also meant in referential conjunction to my probability math class that i am failing at roughly 215pm tomorrow afternoon.
Tell him to shut up cuz i said so. I lost my dollar shoe :(
Come get meeee. I'm stranded in the middle of no where with Paul (?). I think u puked on his friend.
Why are there so many empty soda cans in my room?
You put them in a circle around your bed and said it was the best way to ward of the witches from hocus pocus....then you remembered you needed salt too. I'm assuming you havent gone to the bathroom yet.
You know ure stoned when u start thinking about making a bacon smoothie
Pretty sure I just became the first person ever to use the word "boner" in a wedding card...
I think it's time we have the "weird fetish" talk.
She offered to massage my back by hitting it with a sparkly purple double dildo... Bi chicks can get creepy
You tried to get me to kick my booty call out at 3am by tempting me with a trip to ihop
Just heard the girl at the bar cuss her bf out and order a long island ice tea. Going to give it 5 min then I'm going in. See you on the other side.
all i could think about while he was eating me out was how pretty his eyelashes were
I think her version of saying goodnight was being flung over a guys shoulder as he said, "Bitch. You don't need no shoes."
Fucking that physical therapist guy was the best decision I ever made.
After an hour of searching for my pants, we had three people looking. They were finally found in the oven.
I'm wine drunk & this is not good news for anybody
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