I'm at the point in my career when i know a sites a trap and isn't real porn
Talking about the game in the closet with a banana wearing sunglasses.
I just walked past a woman in the bar stroking a mans crotch, yelling 'I made this. I made this happen.'
no you went to jail because you don't know how to whisper when offering a cop a blow job. I'm sure him having a chick partner didn't help.
dont call me baby and dont touch my ears. ITS ALL I ASK
I don't know what it was about last night, but every bar that i went to there was at least one girl there that i had done something with. I'm sure the girl that i went with knew because they all grabbed my penis and told me to call them.
We should go, because after those margaritas time is running out on my sobriety clock.
He looked at me and just said "moist". The entire party shut down from uncomfortableness. He is an anti-party wizard.
So I definitely fucked a guy while holding on to his pigtails like reigns last night.
The most literal cowgirl position ever.
I mean, except for the part where I was vomiting up pineapple and hot sauce, it was a really fun time.
He finger blasted me like an angel dude
She's the good dick fairy. You buy her a beer and half an hour later the best lay in the place is asking to take you home.
Oh. Why can't it be something easy, like a punch card for blowjobs?
Taco Bell is better for you than cocaine, I promise.
What happened lastnight it looks like I had sex with edward scissor hands....my back is so messed up
my bad i broke a mirror over your back
Randomize
