With sake I got over my irrational fear of seafood. Now I just fear sake.
he recorded me cumming with the t-pain app on his iphone
I don't even know why I got my vag waxed
Ugh, tell me about it. As each day passes and the hair grows more, I get a little more depressed.
Currently bar hopping with 30 Navy SEALS. I know i'm safe but damn its hard to pick up chicks when you feel like a big pussy.
there were like 150 questions AFTER the application. you'd think for a store that has dick molding kits it'd be a joke
Can we hire someone to dj while we have sex?
The puppy is a lightweight. 3 beers and he's passed out on the floor already. I repeat, the puppy is a lightweight.
at least you know where his tattoos end, so it wasn't a complete waste of time.
nothin like your phone freezing up and sending out old booty calls at 11am on a sunday. fml.
stoners and superglue do NOT mix
Came home to my roommate drinking a 40 in the shower. Chugging with his hair still fully shampoo'd.
christmas shopping: 3 hours in the liquor store...
Maybe the "i killed someone" and "tequila makes my clothes come off" comments freaked him out.
That ass isn’t going to eat itself.
please don't ironically join a cult
Randomize
