Asian hipster sighting. About to tackle him and ask him to take me to chinatown
we both passed out while playing beer pong, woke up in the morning and continued to play coffee pong to cure our hangovers
I was rubbing the clit just like wikipedia told me to.
In hindsight, i should have predicted that a drink called the 'rocky mountain bear fucker' would not end in a pleasant experience
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You seemed more interested in the queso dip than you were in the hand job
I made him go down on me for 40 mins then pretended to pass out. I swear, I'm like a boy.
All I remember is mattress sliding down the stairs while giving him a blow-job. Sorry you had to witness the incident.
Just pissed in my own closet. Had no idea adult dinner parties could he so awesome.
I'm always drunk lately
Now I'm in a game of hide and seek in Sears
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When he was fat he reminded me of my high school best friend and I just wanted to hug him and hug him. Also, he's funny and humor is the fastest way into my pants after Doctor Who and liquor.
Is this a drinking picnic?
Is there another kind?
there’s plenty of nice guys out there with good jobs and NO felonies!
Let's drink lean at the 5 seconds of summer concert. Give the teens a glimpse into their future as dysfunctional adults holding desperately onto their youth. You in?
No we were too stoned to stop you from wiping the peanut butter all over the car.
It's scary that my vibrator is a dangerous weapon. I want a new one.
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