Also, the republican called me again last night. He called me dumb and ugly then begged to come over. Gosh... he knows how to make me want him...
it was a shit show
We all have our days. But yours might be on the internet.
i was drunk at family dinner telling about my gay brothers sex ads on criags list
I'm youtube-ing children's choirs. Am I adorable? Or am I a child predator?
Predator. Straight up.
He was so bad, he was dry humping me and his dick was nowhere close to my vagina.
me and my mom are sitting in the bank parking lot drying my beer soaked check with the heat... the whole car smells like heinekin and I'm trying to convince her I don't need a.a.
Walt I've been the third wheel taking shotssssssssssssssssolo. Each s is for each solo shot.
230 lb girl across the train from me is giving a dude in a kilt a handjob while he sits in her lap
N I'm drinking this invention I call "do-it-fluid" I had a bottle of vodka that was 3/4th empty, so I put in 1/4th rum, 1/4th tequila, 1/4th whisky... it's definitely the worst idea ever..
I would have cried, probably tears of wine, but cried nonetheless.
I don't remember... but I heard a cop threatened to pepper spay my dick
How do I have sand in my vagina if we were an hour away from the beach?
Do you think they'll deliver pizza to my mouth
Looking back, we probably shouldn't have chased alcohol with more alcohol
I had Mac n cheese made with weed butter last night. Epic
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