My RA just tried to write me up for having sex too loudly during quiet hours.
I can't believe all I ate yesterday was half a turkey sandwich and 20 finger licks of exctasy.
There was an awkward moment where I was going for his cock and he reach out and held my hand, thinking that what I was doing
But fine, we can play that game. You can come over and we can have totally platonic, long, boring discussions. Or we can fuck. Whatever.
i knew it was time to leave the bar when i caught myself doing karate dance moves with a married man.
I'm a busy girl. All I wanted was noncommittal sex a few times a week
Im chasing shots of tequila with chocolate milk right now. by myself. its nasty, but I've had worse in tjere the past couple days, so ill take it.
Haha at least the one I have like that you can't tell we are completely drunk and you're about to kick a glass out of my hand in a fit of joy over pizza.
All I've had today is a brownie and a shot of Jack, so you know. I'm doing ok.
Licking pop rocks off a stranger's washboard abs and kissing strangers young enough to be my kid. Yeah, it was THAT kind of party last night
Just applied for assistance with paying my hospital bill from my alcohol poisoning at age 16 while still a little drunk from last night. What is my life.
Circle of life?
I think you handled your pregnancy scares better than that cricket in your bathroom
Just because I'm sleeping with him doesn't mean I'm in love with him, it means that I want to have sex with someone who isn't a serial killer.
2 weeks into this dating someone with money thing and I already don't know if I can go back to the being poor life
Remembering you have vodka in the freezer gives the same surge of happiness as finding 20 bucks in a coat pocket.
Randomize
