i can juggle bunnies
cool
on fire
So I got my period. Finally. In related news, I reinstated my belief in God.
he just asked if i would like him to change his diet so his jizz tastes better. keeper? i think so.
There's some strange man with hair that keeps talking to us. I'm scared.
This is how horror movies start. Going to bar with strange hair guy. He's paying. Bad idea?
Ditched hair man. Got free cab ride to market. Want food. I win.
He brought Stephanie home from the black light party. Apparently he has night vision beer goggles
Lauren she was gnawing on a dresser. Gnawing. On. A. Dresser.
Seriously, I'm ready to settle for ugly and unemployed as long as he has decent hygene and likes to go down.
It's amazing I mean I blew that senator just for him to deny me marriage.... Politics suck and he swallowed!
the chips you spilled whiskey on is not the same thing as Irish breakfast potatoes
I have to remind myself to breathe. That hungover.
I was his one phone call from jail and I hung up on him. He's fine though were gonna go to a party now.
I just hooked up with a one legged Australian guy. Hooray diversity!
You have cats and a ten year IUD. Embrace it.
Not sure if I should ask if I can have my underwear back or just avoid that all together.
He graduated. He’s not my GA anymore. He’s just the 24 year old that’s helping me put a sexless marriage in the rear view mirror by exploring the Kama sutra with me
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