I just used my 2 drink stirrers as chopsticks to get a lime out of my drink. I really am Asian.
Is it bad to go up to the security desk and ask them for the name of the guy I signed in last night? I have absolutley no clue
I just had a flashback to last nights party, I'm pretty sure I told most of the people there that I post a masturbation schedule for an iCal download.
The little penguins are speaking with a hispanic accent. I dont know how to feel about it. Geographically speaking, this cant be possibly. This isnt cool.
my mom sold the house because of the grow room the couple saw i had in the basement.
I don't even want to talk about it, I'm traumatized. Even the dog knew to take advantage of the most intoxicated girl at the party...
I walked in on her just letting her nose bleed into her friend's hands
just made one giant jello shot... if i have to study on a saturday night, i'm gonna do it as drunk as possible
Not that you went to little darlings at 3am. But that you checked in on Facebook. C'mon bro. You're better than that.
Is it socially acceptable to break up with someone over snapchat?
I almost stopped mid bj to let him know I appreciated his balls being nice to look at/have my face near. But I didn't know if that would ruin, or improve the moment.
just so you know they found you begging for money at the L station. What the fuck did you drink last night?
I'm all about clean living these days
You started your day with fried chicken and a bloody
... after you woke up in your own urine
You peed in a public fountain and then felt bad so you put dish soap in it; 4 ft tall bubbles.
I NEED HELP. IM TRIPPIN BAWLS IN THE BACK OF MY MOMS CAR.
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