I'm going to an arts college, I live next to the frat houses, and my room number is 420. god has plans for me and I couldn't be happier.
I hate myself for knowing the words to party in the USA.
It is obvious to me now why clam chowder & beer aren't a good combo.
I literally just saw a campus policeman riding a Segway pull over a moving car. you should just give up.
I have come to the conclusion that if you don't fulfill your life ambitions you should go into porn
thanks for texting me "so many asians" at 1am...
there were a lot.
Smoked a Vape in the library status: completed
i woke up the next morning in a pool of blood in my bathroom and a pinata donkeys head in my bed
so much for an anticlimactic 22nd birthday
I was short on money so I let my roommate mase me for $60
It's a fucking menopause festival down here at the strike zone
Nothing like a little " am I gonna shit myself " to spice up the work day
Now we just need to figure out why your underwear was in your bra
Wtf can everyone stop fucking in my grandma's bed? This is like the third time
I party with great urgency now.
I’m literally naked drinking a beer and I gotta leave in 6 minutes for work lol
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