I just put a picture of what I imagine Rob's dick looks like on it on my vision board. thank you Oprah!
yeah bitch needs to recognize there's only one person with this face
someone just laughed at me while i'm laying on the floor waiting for the bus. like they've never been hungover.
We carried on a casual conversation about plants while I gave him a hand job.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he got everyone in a room, turned off the lights and started throwing knives at the wall. if you got hit, you had to drink...
Saved a life and got us a free vacuum cleaner (and learned vacuum is not spelled "vacumn"). Get on my level.
He pissed on a police station. Then expected to not be arrested. Sounds accurate.
It is officially Christmas time in Chicago. There's a drunk hobo on the CTA singing the first 2 lines of Frosty the Snowman over and over and over.
Happy Birhtday!
Dad, it's 3am and it's not my birthday... wherever you are, go home
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Okay let's look at your past accomplishments you've done hungover... Sat great score, academic decathlon, state for track. I think you are solid to go out tonight
he can suck his own dick, i cant compete with that
Too bad Amazon Prime wouldn't get the wine bra flask to you in time. Concealed alcohol and huge tits? Win-win.
I had a sex dream about Fox Mulder, and the Royals just won the World Series. My life is complete.
I bet I give better head than any other PTA mom.
When you're as high as I am right now brushing your teeth is both magical and fucking terrifying
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