That chick was all over your bacon last night, grinding on you, I thought you were going to bang her in the club
Dude it was a lap dance
I guess I puked all over my hand too and I just looked at my roommate and said, "fix this."
They wouldn't serve more then two Shots per person, so you grabbed a group of strangers and said u werre buying them all shots, then proceeded to drink all of them.
Seriously I will never run in my wedges while drinking racing home to have sex ever again
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Its the anniversary of our epic NBA All-star game weekend. The night the two of us cashed a 30-pack while watching the dunk contest
When he pulls out of you and farts and says ahh I wanted to do that for the past 30 mins ....you rethink the next drunken hook up
Will do. If it all falls thru I'm just gonna set up a sprinkler in my back yard and run thru it while taking jello shots. Perfect alternative to my 29th bday.
Your first mistake was not throwing your beer at the RA and running
Then he rubbed shampoo all over my arm and shouted, "Garnier FUCK THIS."
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Han Solo would be ashamed of me.
Wait.....I ate a raw potato lastnight.
I banged a guy named Robbie last night and in the middle of sex he begged me to scream santos. I'm pretty sure I just screwed a dude with multiple personalities.
I'M GOING TO DIE ALONE WITHOUT ANYONE PRETENDING TO BE A MARRIED COUPLE WHILE DRUNK AT A MALL WITH ME
friends who go to the bar together leave the bar together and im not leaving you behind ohana means family
We had a pink drink in honor of my underwear and apparently I made out with our bartender... a few times
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