he asked me to smell his eyeballs.
Took it a bit far last night. While leaving his house, I sent myself a text that said, 'you're still pretty"
That's why they call him "the cheesegrater".
I'm about to play Thunderstruck by myself, that way I'll always get the long thunder part.
if I see a bottle of vodka right now I'll probably throw up gum I swallowed when I was a kid
We've gotten 3 pitchers already by trading for CUPCAKES
Hes drunk and dancing naked. I can hear his dick smacking his legs from the next room.
I think I won over his best friend. He was staring at my boobs all night.
Why on earth is he slamming his body into the wall again?
Got my parents to pick me up from the party, take me to the bar and buy all my drinks, then drop me off at my booty calls house.
Just bc you put "its cute" at the end of it doesn't change the fact that u have called me a vag twice this morning and its only 10:03
It was dumb but not something to force me into sobriety
He can kiss the multicultural 3 some goodbye
Setting myself up for trouble? Yes. But getting laid is a lot more important at this time.
Any who, I expect to be showered with roses apon my arrival
How about beer and nachos?
A fine substitute!
Randomize
