Don't be scared. It'll feel very good. And you'll be clean afterwards. I'm growling right now.
I'm on the bus and the homeless person in the seat to my left is jacking off to a cartoon picture he found. He's now cleaning up with mitten I dropped.
I woke up this morning with gum gluing my ass cheeks together..
I can't decide if I actually want to know or not..
I swear I could audibly hear her vagina slam shut when you walked up to hit on her.
I mean I'm not worried about us not getting wasted. I'm more worried that I'll be doing a Boris yeltzen impression by 1030.
More importantly, he hasn't caught an STD yet. I mean I'd say it's luck, but at this point it has to be skill.
This is the second time in a week I've woken up with your bra in my bed and I've had to sit and think about how it happened.
I woke up in nothing but a shower cap and your sparkling coke straw snorter thing inbetween my toes. Explain.
Instead of a fine and a few hours in jail he chose to get tasered, break his neck and shit his pants
Also, you need to stop getting hammered and taking showers with people.
I wish the guy I was sleeping with wasn't on house arrest.
The bar would not accept my money. I have reached God status here
Explaining that I bought them at a strip club gift shop with my friend didnt make the furry handcuffs seem less weird
We're so high we're eating flavored lube.
Are you rolling a joint while doing homework?
No, I am rolling a joint with my homework.
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