Is it bad that everytime I read or hear "Woo Hoo" I immediately think of sex because of The Sims?
Condoms? Check. Glitter? Check. Fuck me pumps? Double check. Dignity? No where to be found. I'm about to homewreck the shit out of that dumb bitch.
I've been meaning to talk to you about your lack of self-respect these days and the toll it's taking on your vagina.
I was amazed that you fell flat on your ass and still managed not to spill them drinks in your hands. Your getting good at this.
He just kept muttering to himself "stabby stabby stabby stabby" while we were boning. I will never be boning him again.
SHE has hooked up with both me and my sister. I don't even know what to say. If she goes for my parents next I may have to kill her
My roommate just called. He's in Miami and has no idea how he got there. He also has a ticket to Buenos Aires that he can't explain. I figured you'd have the explanation.
don't blame me for your drunken lack of judgement
big words... still drunk. dont care. your fault.
It's not prostitution until you're out of college. Right now it's just strategic boning.
He was on Keeping Up with the Kardashians it was like a deed from god to bang him
just puked a little into my hand/sleeve. way too hungover for the first day of class
I think I want to impress his gay best friend more than him..
I realize designer coke was a douchey thing to say but the point of the story is I did bath salts
He said his fantasy involved both of us fucking while stuffed into the same overalls
I just have to decide what I love more, food or dick.
You threw him in the dryer?
He went in of his own accord. Mumbled something about experiencing the blossoming of popcorn.
Randomize
