Pretty people don't get stds, I knew it
You tried to wear your Jesus costume into Family Christian stores and say it was a book signing.
she said she likes her vagina punished
being with you and your tiny dick is punishment enough
Just drive me around campus, I will be able to smell their innocence.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We were confused who drove until we went outside and her cupholders were torn out of the dash and laying on the ground
He brought a jar of pickles to the party. So now I've had beer, animal crackers, AND a pickle since noon.
Why is there a blood-covered "sorry about your stuff" note stapled to my door?
I'd feel sorry for him and his injury but it's an inconvenience for my vagina
How can I not totally like a guy that told me my boobs were too big for me to be taught how to play golf?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She kept throwing quarters at him and yelling "Goooaaallll!!" whilst taking her clothes off one by one. I'd say she had a good night
alright. I just need to set some ground rules, no lighting me on fire, and no broken bones. fair?
also dude totally apologize for the whole drunken "want something in my mouth" text
So, it's been almost 3 months and and I still dont know her last name. That's gotta be a record.
Every little girl dreams of the day when she picks up her fuck buddy because he's drunk at the gay bar again.
when your dumb AF ex “accidentally” venmos you $50 and texts you asking for it back..... —sorry I accidentally deleted your number and cashed out
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