Go study a dick amy that's outrageous
just to let you know, don't open your linen closet for a while until i come over with a cleaning kit and geek squad
Im mastering the way to pass gas silently.
she was drooling, sharted in her sleep, rolled over stuck her hand under the covers pulled it back out, smelled it and moaned and rolled back over. i almost added puke to the disgusting bodily fluid category.
Well I think that's a good thing that I'm not full of someone else.
I was literally just a half conscious dildo.
No. My vagina is not the scapegoat for your poor decisions.
Be there soon... with munchies, blow jobs and shoulder rubs.
Exactly. This is the bit where I learn a heartwarming lesson about not making my drinks half vodka
The 78 year old woman who works next to me divorced her ex husband, remarried her first husband, and retired all in one day. I'd say it makes your breakup on Valentine's day pretty insignificant.
I just remembered you petting my nose last night to help the cocaine 'sink in'. I don't think that's how it works
Speaking of, what are you doing next weekend? I'm going to a rope bondage seminar and may need a partner if my date bails.
He isn't understanding any of my Fetty Wap references. He may not be a keeper after all.
Why do I always have at least 8 men with whom I am conducting some sort of poorly planned love experiment?
I got confused. The music was loud, porn was playing, people were grinding, there were hand jobs.
Randomize
