So i just bought beer on a credit card, using a fake ID, while wearing my nametag from work. All 3 have different names on them. God i love my boobs.
Drinking Grey Goose on the toilet. Don't make me graduate.
Nothing quite says America like barbecue and beer at 9 in the morning.
So the answer to your question is yes, I was masturbating on the roof of my building.
She told me to stuff her like a turkey. She actually yelled happy thanksgiving.
May the one with the liver that just won't quit win
The cop told us he we helped him pass his monthly bong quota. He almost ran out of room on the hood of his car..
Nothing says Merry Christmas like gifting a bottle of rum and finishing it yourself then leaning over at the dinner table to puke it back up.
Hey, I'm renting a storage locker for the summer to keep all my bondage shit in so my parents don't see it. You wanna split on it for your all your weed shit?
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... Men can be so sensitive...
You were so drunk you coat checked your shoe... Not even both of them. Just one shoe.
I just drank beer out of an old Vicodin bottle hoping to catch some residue. That's how finals week is going
after stripping the bed and soaking it with the "pet spot remover" I have, I decided in the best interest of my mattress and our drunk friends bladders, i should invest in rubber sheets.
Apparently she hired a private investigator when he took out a restraining order on her. So the answer is no, I didn't hit it.
Still had our rainbow strip poker new years tradition. End of night we were only wearing mask.
Did you get the usual surprise pics from the strange straight you like to sprinkle in.
Randomize
