How do you get a cum stain out of a trampoline?
so thats when we found her crawling hands and knees up first street singing hold me closer tony danza as loud as she could
did she say where she was going
apparently she thought she was on morton hill and was trying to go back to the bars
Made out with me girlfriend while she was peeing. all time high, or all time low?
I know its been a few months but you must know you hve the 2nd biggest dick I've ever seen. 1st place went to a rapper so don't feel bad.
I told the bartender that he could give me back the tip I gave him if he outsmarted me in a battle of wits. He has yet to challenge me.
I always forget that visiting my hometown is like a who's who of ugly people.
I sat on the toilet and peed through my jeans, then I pissed the bed and blamed him...do you think well have a 2nd date?
Sorry about the flaming shit on your door
I never thought I'd be in my late 20s and send that text
I'm going to give you the best blowjob of your life. And yes you can use my mom's printer.
You know you have hit the best years of your life when you enlist the 5 year old to be ball boy during beer pong and pay him with candy you stole from Walgreens
lmao he sent me a snapped but i'm afraid to open.
i think i have dick pic PTSD.
Just a little. Like do I say "hey I'm the girl that's fucking your son, nice to meet you"
At the light, his mom pulled up next to us while I was giving him road head. He forgot to tell me she was meeting us at the movie. So long story short, I convinced her I drove myself, pick me up in 20.
Hold on gotta plunge the sink
Is that a euphemism for sex? Either way, have a good time
She looked up and said "I like this." I asked "what do you like?" she said "penis."
Randomize
