I think I am morally bankrupt
Soo both my 8 year old sister and fuck buddy are named Sarah..
this can't be going anywhere good
nooope. guess which one i texted last nite to come over so i could "punish her pussy"? =\
And we hooked up in the carwash. I told you our creative juices were flowing today.
I am trying to figure out how to tell this kid i have a boyfriend in a way that still allows me to smoke free weed
I'm sorry I tried putting my balls in your cup holder.
drunk waterpark is besst waterpark.
Also, my drunkenly packed sleepover kit consisted of a singular sock, my uncharged laptop, and a pack of post-it notes.
He came when he saw that my nipples were pieced
I'm thinking blowjobs and wheelchair sex should be part of any post-injury wellness plan.
I think your high point was when the quesadilla was in your mouth and you were screaming "I can't chew!" and the Taco Bell guy just kinda stared at you like he wanted to strangle.
Speaking of church, everyone showed up to lunch in the dining hall in their Sunday best and I walk in looking homeless bc I just got out of bed. I hate this school.
I think Jabba the Hut is dying in the stall next to me.
I woke up this morning with a text from my mom as to why the hell random people were showing up at the house. Turns out nobody came to our house party because I gave them my old address, fuck pre-partying for real
If me saying "come f***k me now" is talking, then yes.
An old Grimace plushie came to life and gave me a pretty knife. I'm never doing acid again.
Randomize
