Shes from jersey what did you expect her to say when you asked her if she did coke? Its like asking some1 from a third world country if they are hungry
The tricky part is not getting sand in any orifices. Or is the plural orifi? Orifi don't, we'll both be unhappy...
Best friends brother. Beat that.
I dont know, my roommate got arrested but I'm gunna get some tacos no matter what
I miss waking up knowing you're passed out under my bed.
I will start puting down the plastic for the vom in our love chamber. If you want to be something or someone else for the night feel free. The theme is shit show.
I'm there.
She kept telling me to calm down. I was on the floor with my eyes shut, not moving. In levels of calm I was one step above coma patient
I just woke up eating some beef jerky with my cat. I think she opened the bag for us.
That's just a really flattering way of saying, "Yes, you're useless, but you have great tits."
Just an FYI if we break up I'm going to sleep with your cousin or who ever my dealer is.
When you put my balls in your mouth i just want to buy you expensive gifts...you know what i mean?
I feel like I spent all day wearing underpants made entirely of poison ivy and sandpaper
FML I accidentally sent the text about his bruised balls as a group text that included his brother and my boss.
Yes, ur purse got stole with our condo keys in it but my slut ass saved us and we had a place to stay, AND I got to choke a motherfucker while riding him. Thats taking one for the team.
You fell asleep while I was sucking your dick
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