I told him I was pregnant. Figured it would soften the blow of telling him I had herpes.
Did it?
Not as such, no.
Should I text him? Life is confusing when you actually like someone instead of just wanting to blow them.
That blackeyed peas song was on, so I thought that was prediciting tonight was going to be a good night. And then my garage door opner fell and hit me in the head.
I literally just copy and pasted that from another bbm convo bc I'm far too stoned to explain that again.
2 showers later and I'm still finding cum on random body parts of mine
just found $310, wrapped in a rubber band, at the bottom of my sock drawer with a note attached stating, "Make it rain".
I'm gonna need you to NOT let me play duck duck goose with three racoons in the middle of the street next time.
I banged her roommate when she was gone. She came back with a chicken sandwich and a bj. Then she said " smells like my roommates vagina" I think I can get a threesome tonight
I think my whole family judged my ability to change under a blanket.
In a moving vehicle and other people in the car
i cant wait to be back in my element of drunk, on a barstool, ive missed home
That was the night you tried to convince me you threw up your sould because your throwup was black
I found my limit. I will not, in fact, blow my 78 year old professor for an A in his class.
You were petting your bowl of cocoa puffs and shushing it softly while staring at the mirror
I just walked in on her masturbating to a social anxiety video...
He did a backflip because drugs
right after that u started calling me g-force and started trying to bellyslide down his drive way
Randomize
