It was kinda bitchy last night when i brought up my pregnancy scare and you said "shotty playing with it"
just found my old 10th grade stash of beer in a shoebox. guess who's getting trashed tonight
If we have to be apart I understand. Being separated is probably best for our relationship now. I look forward to our booty calls.
They seriously just ended our alcohol presentation by giving us beer cozies. I love college.
The kid next to me is typing a powerpoint presentation.. title: Reasons to Wear a Condom, subtitle: The Ian Story
The first slide was titled: You Could Get a Girl Pregnant.
Can we end it on a good note at least? Can we fuck and then never talk again?
I just can't promise there won't be a reason to hit you in the face with a dildo again in the future.
Ok there's 63 pics of you jerking it on my camera from New Years. The time stamps say it took you 40 min to get there too. See a doc, your only 22.
Can I send you a picture of my penis? I feel like it looks really good right now and I need someone to share it with
Why were my jeans in the freezer of the mini fridge, and how long have they been in there? On another note, I found my teacher's ID badge.
I did get to watch you pee, tho. That counts as another precious moment.
I've never said "lesbians" so many times in a short response answer
Don't worry, I'm not gonna try making you Eskimo sisters with your mom
...Just hit my fuck buddy with my car.
After I spend a passionate night with my vibrator, I have to awake and face my stuffed animals. Their beady eyes are full of shame and disappointmet. I can't deal with that level of judgement.
Randomize
