Maybe I lied like you did about your herpes.
Why did you send me a picture of a dick?
It was an accident sry. Not mine tho.
Check if I'm alive tomorrow. If not, tell my parents I died happy and that there's a gay cheerleader in the spare bedroom
Don't let her tell you any different. She licked the balls of my hamster for that $100. It was a group bet. She won.
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He was more tolerable with alcohol in my system. I woke up to him squeezing me and telling me how he wanted to dip me in strawberry jam.
he suggested we do it doggy style cuz it was his dead dogs birthday...i had to do it
Apparently we were arguing for captain seats so I shouted "who has your virginity." I got the seat.
I might have been fine if i had magic teleportation powers and could have skipped the car ride between bar and home
we were both freshly single and using each other as rebounds. most intense sex I've ever had. i felt like a grizzly bear emerging from hibernation in a whirlwind of sexual fury
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If that orgasm indicates how the rest of the year is going to go, I need to buy rain boots.
I'm questioning my decision to swallow this morning while my stomach was in hangover mode
I'm in my math teacher's garage hiding right now because I fucked his son last night. It's fine
I'm so high right now that I winked back at a character in this TV show.
All I remember was you telling him there was something behind him so he would turn around and you could slide down his carpeted stairs on your belly without a shirt on. How's that carpet burn btw?
He's hot, clean, can actually cook, and best of all isn't a narcissistic prick. I found a unicorn.
Ride that fucker.
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