What do ugly girls do when they get too drunk at parties. They can't pull the whole "sorry i passed out on your couch but i'm hot so it doesn't matter "card
the only time i'm productive on weed is when i drink.
After we smoked, the cops questioned us but i just asked if he wanted to join our basketball team.
Just found out he cheated on me last night. But its Shark Week so I will deal with it next week.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Burnt my ear trying to use the bathroom blow dryer as a telephone.
I didn't even have time to sit down and the nurse was like: ''You've been having unprotected sex.'' HOW DOES SHE KNOW?!?
Dude, they're still mid-coitus. Pretty sure running in to high five my roommate mid-thrust is a mood-breaker.
I'm more of a 'talk at me while I stare at you' kinda girl.
There's a guy in a life size dick costume, and two guys with white shirts that are each half if a pair of breasts in a red bra lol. They came separate but when they saw each other there was some titty fucking in the street, it's only 11
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am literally watching TV with sunglasses on because the brightness hurts my hangover
if he becomes president of the united states, I will tell EVERYONE that i took his virginity.
He looked so uninterested when the stripper was slapping him. Now his roommates are harassing me about how crazy our sex must be.
God gave you your own nipples for a reason.
i woke up half naked on someone's pool lounge chair in a house that i don't know, with someone's phone number scrawled on my stomach. why do i hang out with you again??
You just listed two reasons.
There's a guy in a plaid shirt running around asking everyone if they want to head butt him
Randomize