i wish swine flu would become a total pandemic so we cld be rid of all the people that are complaining about it
proudest moment: just made a guy walk into a parked car with his mouth hanging open cause of the shirt im wearing.
dude I just sharted for the first time ever, kind of gross
well what did you think, shitting your pants would be fun
I took a picture of his ID so i could remember how to spell his last name and facebook stalk him later...I think he saw me do it
Chick stood right next to me in the elevator. Like she had the whole elevator and she stood right next to me. So I farted.
just remind me when i get fired soon that august is the month i started pregaming work
Just had a brita power hour to try to counter act all the wine i chugged last night.....fucking franzia
Fun new game when high: sorting socks. Took forever. Was awesome.
Well I talked to some Canadians today, and I'm keeping a vigilant watch for sharks, so I'm pretty booked up.
Nothing says thanksgiving like acid flashbacks
I just need like a magic vacuum to suck everything out of me and then an IV to put good stuff back in
no body wants to do anything today cause it's too cold, but a guy can only masturbate so many times a day. Ya know
is buying liquor on my lunch break too aggressive?
Worst way to find out I have a half sister
Can I just go naked and covered in glitter?
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