worst experience of my life. her nipples were sick. kinda like a venn diagram
The child next door sounds like he's having vigorous sex in the backyard and it's making me very, very uncomfortable. I don't want to look.
Went home with a guy 2 " his house". Woke up this morn on couch to parents cooking breakfast, piss all over my back and he is no where to be found. That fuckr pissed on me and bounced. His parents are gonna think some drunk bitch pissed their couch.
you are the best fuck buddy i could have, all the others get feelings and morals involved
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It was just a squirrel
You act like its normal to see a squirrel in the bar
I'm going to die alone in a sea of empty vodka bottles and cats.
I just peed in a flower pot on the veranda while crying and holding a drink
She was humming during sex. After I asked her why, she said it was her sex theme music
The van in front of me contains people having SEX. I am in full view of a SEX VAN.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am in his childhood bedroom and I feel like his trophies are applauding me and his stuffed bunny is disgusted with me. Did you know he was a mathlete?
Who knows. I'd probably only get a makeout with an OTPHJ from her so the return on sexual investment from her isn't looking that great.
I shaved my entire vagina for a man who had the personality of a potato and a C- orgasm. Life is a series of disappointments.
WHAT THE FUCK I JUST PULLED TWO TAMPONS OUT OF MY VAGINA. WHERE DID THE OTHER ONE COME FROM??
....surprise!
i woke up this morning from the best one night stand. i made the guy mickey mouse pancakes for breakfast and when i walked back into the bedroom he said "marry me"
I just woke up, dressed as Chris Brown, with a bunless hot dog (presumably from 7/11) in my pocket, wearing a pair of shoes I don't recognize as my own. Help.
Randomize