The shirt is mine, the pants are mine, the bra not so much
I woke up naked on the bathroom floor. the tile grout marks on my boobs hurt, i mananged to use a roll toilet paper as a pillow. never again. did we eat salad?
my goal is to masturbate without thinking about my exbf.
He just made me apologize because his morning wood is NOT a laughing matter.
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i feel like you're just hanging onto the edge of functioning wino.
Look at my eyebrows in this pic! We deffo need to go back to that waxing place.
You have a cock in one hand and a shot in the other. Your eyebrows are not the topic in need of discussion.
Making drunken Mac n cheese at 3 am I understand why witches constantly stir their cauldrons. Much more homogenized temperature and slim chance of boiling over. Good job witches.
No I have an idea, I saw you running through the neighborhood at 3am while I searched for my flip flops in a ditch
Ah well. Drinking wouldn't be drinking without mystery bruises
Agreed.
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BOOM BITCH SERVES YOU RIGHT I HOPE YOU SHIT YOURSELF PETER PAN
We found you in the bathroom at 1AM throwing money into the toilet making wishes. That drunk.
.... Seriously?
Was not aware that standing loudly up off the couch and loudly, drunkenly slurring "I'M EIGHTEEN NOW BITCHES" counted as a primitive mating call.
you made the house rule that every time you'd say "yay" everyone had to drink.
that explains so much
I look over and the both of you are naked, and he's eating chicken nuggets off the floor
I just remembered I casually gave you a tour of the house after we boned...lol
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