he kept kneeing me like he was playing footsies... only then i realized it was his dick.
well after he sqeezed a zit off his forearm i got the hell outta there
you know that saying beer then liquer makes you sicker, it should be beer then pickles makes you throw up alot, everywhere.
Would you like me to write a persuasive essay on how you should let me suck your dick?
It was good I woke up with my mattress on top of me. I walked around naked the whole night as people wished my Happy Birthday.
Well pretty sure I lost 3 of my best friends in one week. Remember when I said I wasn't sure if I was gonna be a better person or a more despicable one in 2012. Despicable wins.
There was an Altoids can full of urine in the bathroom. I do not want to know what was going on in there.
Fun fact: I don't want to be an actual functioning adult because why
Apparently getting a blow job in the mens room from the bar owners daughter will get you kicked out.
Only Jon could get an entire commuter train to chant "Ride! Jon! Home!" to get a girl in bed.
I thought about mashed potatoes the whole way home
it was an ACCIDENT
it was a DICK
Awww I'm so proud! Starting friendships before you hook up!
just walked passed a black light...apparently he DID cum.
I assure you, it was not a Porn Hub Bee Movie parody.
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