spencer pratt says his family invinted chess
that kid is like the al gore of hollywood.
do you know your status is "goal for vegas: hook up with a girl AND a boy"?
and THATS why i'm not adding my mom on facebook
every time i get drunk at her place i end up leaving with nothing but an empty box of toaster strudels..
we need 14,000 post its to execute this plan
Just because he saw my boobs doesn't mean he knows me all of a sudden
I want to bury your face in my vagina. Possibly by force. I will try not to suffocate you though.
She gave me a foot massage while her friend rode me. Your gf puked into the oscolating fan. How were our nites alike?
Nurse helped me count all my sexual partners and still gave me her phone number. She shall be #73.
If I had cancer, and got to make a wish, id make the organization force your dad to fuck me.
The last time I've felt a woman's touch, the twin towers were compromised. You can wait like one week
I just accidentally showed an old lady a pic of my penis while showing her cat pics. So how's your day going?
i just looked at those "hey" messages and i was so confused and then i remembered we were practicing texting with our tongues.
I'm here. Help me get the salsa and bong inside.
Dude, the T Swift concert might not be so bad after all. Can you say milfs living vicariously through their teenage daughters? Score.
And here I am, playing fetch with my cat at two in the morning.
Randomize
