Yes, I fucked her, no she wasn't that loose, yes she caused more drama than a 14 year old girl
just found his boxers balled up inside my tights, hidden in my freezer. damn i love college.
..i think i can hear you losing your virginity
tried to order jimmy johns from the ER last night, the nurses did nottt approve
No more scars from drunken holidays, people are starting to notice.
Just pissed by glowstick light. Bad idea.
All I could think about when I saw her was that she could be the mother of my future first round draft picks
No, that's just what we do when we hang out. We get drunk, have really awesome sex, then fight about why we never worked as a couple
You cant come. You're a Colorado native who drinks Bud over Coors. Fucking homegrown terrorist.
Do I have to formally apologize to Brett for flashing him?
I WOULD SERIOUSLY RECOMMEND THE SHIT THAT I AM ON RIGHT NOW
I just made my mom buy me lube. I've reached a new level of broke.
how do you know everyone's mad at you?
I just woke up feeling shameful
You were pretty conviced that my dog was a spanish child and kept trying to read him the news from your iphone app
His sex game is strong it’s like a warlord’s dick! you know what I mean?
Nope
Randomize
