I wish facebook had a fuck off button.
mid puke you looked up at me and asked if it was your turn to sing
I think my penis ruined a perfectly good friendship.
I'm going to do lines of vitamin c I cannot be sick for halloween
The last bar we left there was a sausage stand right outside and I apparently felt bad those guys were working that late, so I bought a $9 sausage, gave it to some drunk kid and said "I support local businesses!!" I'd say I've done my civic duty.
Im drinking ciroc out of an ice cream cone... my night is going fantastic
What shitty, shitty thing could you possibly tell me that doesnt top the fact that i got hammered and showed everyone i could shit while running
so I definitely just chased tequila shots with a biscuit covered in sausage gravy
Thats fucking manlier than riding a bear into battle
Aside from having sex with a rando in a toga on george's couch i think taking plan b in the library is the most hashtag college thing i've ever done
Congratulations, you have turned my vagina into a garden hose.
I'm so hungover I just peed on my hand and left it, didn't wash... Killin it in 2915
We have GOT to stop getting stoned and going out for expensive dinners.
I just blew thrown up hashbrowns out my nose. That's the level of this hangover.
Looks like it rained condoms in my room last night
she passed out standing next to the car. her head hit the door so hard the alarm went off. she instantly snapped out of it and started sprinting away
Randomize
