hipster in red sally jessy raphael glasses inside. kick her.
That's why Kanye is a gay fish.
you know that saying beer then liquer makes you sicker, it should be beer then pickles makes you throw up alot, everywhere.
I just found little boats floating in my bathtub....they are made out of white castle boxes, condoms, pickles, and corks. All the wine we bought is being used as the "ocean"....clearly we didn't drink any of the wine.....but I don't remember doing this.
The gym is handing out free condoms this week, motivation to work out this week?
Count me out. I seem to have semen induced blindness in one eye.
Your maid of honor is passed out in a golf cart on the 18th hole.
wearing my roomate's scarf as a dress...halloween 2011 ladies and gentlemen
i introduced myself to everyone by my new name, thundergooch. i threatened the neighbors with a hammer when they used my real name. needless to say, sailor jerry was not kind to me.
some people spend their whole lives trying to find their soulmate. who knew mine was hiding in utah successfully balancing a pageant career and a coke habit.
I left for five minutes and Chris wound up half in women's clothes, half naked. And the naked half was covered in shamrock stickers.
New low. I just threw up in the shower at 4pm. Nothing like leaving behind my 20s with class.
The neighbor just yelled bring me back that big red alien penis.
The girl neighbor.
Kinda suprised you didn't immediately ask about the lesbian ghosts tho
It's official we're now working from home permanently. I'm getting paid to have sex and sandwiches. I hit the lottery.
Randomize
