It smells like Drakkar Noir and desperation out here.
That's why you should quit smoking.
is wine microwaveable?
some girl just asked me how to spell unconscious. I really want to know what she was texting.
Sex and the city 2 and twilight getting released in the same month. God hates mankind.
I'm sober in pajamas at a bar. Nothing is ok about that statement.
id say bad/good trip...at first I wanted to claw off my skin... but then when i tried i ended up tickling myself for an hour.
Of course it was necessary for me to call the strip club and ask what their shower policy is. Smelled like she was wiping her ass with my eyebrows during that dollar dance.
I just threw up every bad decision and it hurts
He let me keep my Michael Jordan Bulls jersey on during sex.
If there was a tv show called "True Life: My 58 Year Old Dad Rolls Better J's Than Me" I'd be on it.
Soooo we should kick it sometime when it's like light outside. Drink outta cups.. Be bitches. 7, 6, 3, 5.. 4, 2, 1... Sschhkiddaellladiieessscchk
Yeah. I found my shirt from last night while walking back to the bar to get my purse/phone this morning. I'm never going to even ask what actually happened. Be glad you moved 7 states away.
Do normal couples celebrate occasions naked with Chicken McNuggets and BBQ sauce?
he was wearing a pyjama shirt under a dress shirt under a hoodie under a robe under a rain poncho the man was prepared for anything
A true gentleman never tells. But yes, I did indeed get laid last night
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