I'm just sayin u wanted to sleep after ur paper. I can make u sleep
Don't worry about later. I already pre-ordered a pizza for a 1:45 delivery and told them to ignore any calls from your number.
You're getting good at this, you know that?
Practice the "sorry I may have given you herpes" conversation with me before I call him and break the news
does drinking everclear count as brushing your teeth? because i think they are sterilized
so...he totally just used scissors to cut up the weed. a wet paper towel to moisten the blunt....and a blow dryer so it wouldn't be wet. this dude either has the worst case of OCD or has the potential to be the next martha stewart.
it's like i can feel the ghost of his dick still inside me
This is so pathetic it makes me miss snorting lines alone in my room listening to 'one more drink'.
I think Charlie st. Cloud is the saddest thing I can masturbate to.
This is the first time since last march I'm gonna be going to a class for more reasons than wanting to bone the girl sitting next to me.
I was so stoned on the way to work, I pretended you were in the car with me. We sang "Mrs. Jackson" by outkast.
I have one of those hangovers where you visualize how awesome it would be to climb in your fridge and drink glacier water
She climbed up the stairs with three brownies in one fist, two in the other, and one in her mouth. Also, she opened the bedroom door with her foot. I may be in love.
What's goes good with Everclear?
Pepto-Bismol and a sandwich.
There's a fly in my room repeatedly throwing itself at my window, and I feel it's really symbolic of what I want to do with my future
You think your roommate is bad? The guy they paired me with is such a nerd, his very presence at a party blocks every cock in the room.
Randomize
