I was at the bar last night dancing, puking in a trash can, and ordering another drink all at the same time. Have I lost my dignity?
haha no as long as you did hook up with anybody after that.
... oops
Boobs. All I remember is boobs.
just found out there is no tactful way to ask your girlfriend to wax her stache. no matter what a google search would have you believe.
I've spent too much of my life staring at my bberry and counting to 5 to see if it blinks
Does your gf have any friends she can hook me up with?
Better looking than her though please.
In the middle of getting a blow job, she looked up at me and said "this isn't the first time I've done this today"
Just did ten shots in 8.34 minutes........ Slowly getting over the loss
I'm laying here in fetal position. I feel like a traffic cone
Is it some european holiday today? We both woke up to find loaves of bread in our rooms...
I woke up to 76 pages of e's, r's, d's, and f's from when I fell asleep for 3 hours on my laptop keyboard trying to write that paper.
The guy who just got ate on True Blood had the same balls as you.
I wouldn't be too worried. He's been known to chase a chubby before.
THAT IS NOT HOW YOU TALK TO YOUR SISTER
Bacardi 151 is like a past nightmare I'm still curious about
You were petting a 40 year old man's moustache for 15 minutes
I'm sorry I've been mean recently but tbh it really turns me on seeing you cry so it might happen a lot..... You're a pretty crier I don't get it
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