who the fuck tagged pancake nipples on my profile picture?
He kept starring at my ass and repeating "Its Just a beautiful piece of artwork."
"must pass the hog line" should not only be used in curling. but also when we go out to pick up girls.
can you call in chlamydia to work? like if the antibiotics they gave you for it are giving you the shits...
The entire time I'm blowing him she's in the back seat lecturing me on the reasons why you're not suppose to do that while they're driving...
They just kept handing me shots and saying welcome to college
They showed a guy on tv in a Brady jersey and a sweatpants boner when the NE offense took the field. They didn't show his face. I hope that wasn't you.
Do you think I threw out my left shoulder during the keg stand or the stripper pole? It's medically relevant my chiropractor wants to know.
kool aid jammers and 151...our childhood has officially been corrupted.
You were so drunk last night you thought you force pushed the automatic door open.
Had a dream I beat up niall then madeout with him while snorting coke out of a dragons egg
Seriously babe, why do I keep waking up with bruises on my nipples? WHAT ARE YOU DOING TO ME IN MY SLEEP?
Actually, scratch that, I'm not sure I want to know.
hooking up with him was much more fun when i knew in the back of mind we'd get in some sort of trouble for it
I apparently pulled his dick out at the bar and started yelling "DICK PICS IN REAL LIFE!"
She came home, put on the news, left a 20 minute drunk message on her friends machine, then proceeded to play back the entire message laughing hysterically and then just passed out
Randomize
