just saw a girl throwing up in a taco bell nacho cantainor going 60 down the highway
Remember when we were mad at her for brining her mom on spring break? She just won the wet t-shirt contest. I think we owe her an apology.
someone should tell her that easter eggs aren't meant to be dildos.
I just made my bed perfectly before realizing that I'll be too drunk to appreciate it tonight
I've ID'd the nipple biter.
I've reached the point to where my pre-gaming needs to be limited to pre-inning-ing
i woke up to something itchy on my head. it was his mustache. he fell asleep face-plant style on the side of my head. WTF?
Girl we've come a long way since our first Brazilian wax
Whatever dude, just dont tell her your first impression was she looked like your cousin. no judgement here. just sayin.
I was using my Beauty and the Beast blanket as a makeshift skirt because no pants
Please call us Steph is okay but missing phone wallet tooth
Playing Cards Against Humanity with my relatives at Christmas while I'm stoned was a bad idea...
Idk if I should be worried or amused that my autocorrect changes the word STD to DTF.
I also fell asleep on the side of a tree so like I hit my lowest point there but it was a good time
Not as bad as when you were sitting in the pond getting fed water
i had to call the bar to ask if they found my bowling ball. That good of a night
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