idk, it's all black and i hear low talking...
dude, i think you're in initiation!
shit. that's not good.
Lets go to the mall and pick up some fat chicks and take them out tonight so we can be the skinny friends
Women are like Alzheimers patiens. You can compliment them a million times in a day, but the next day is always a wash, you have to start all over.
I love her so much that if I could have sex with her I wouldn't cuz my dick would feel out of place in such a perfect body/vagina
So there I was.....spitting on my goldfish just to keep it alive.
thought i was the most hungover person in class until i saw a kid puke into his bookbag...he wins
You should make cookies and when I get home we can have a slow motion hug and eat them
Just drove past the dude that came in your sock
Well, we won the drunk before noon contest!
Yeah I mean once a gun is being waved around, its probably a good time to leave the party
But the music was sooo good
That was the night I passed out and someone threw chicken at me. SORRY I wasn't available to cockblock you from that Hispanic dude.
We took vodka shots. You kept saying it was the key to your heart.
FUCK. EVERYONE MAKE MY CONTACT NAME DADDY ISSUES
I should've negotiated that before I sat on his face.
I did not marry a roomba.
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