Youre a pretentious asshole and im not sure who you think you are. Get the hell over yourself and the self righteous culture snob image because its pretty obnoxious.
I was rubbing the clit just like wikipedia told me to.
wtf. i just found you're porn stash.
u like it?
NOT THE POINT.
She invited me to an Eagles game, I mean that is almost better then if she told me she could only function with large amounts of semen in her system at all times.
woke up rolled in a yoga mat listening to enya. I'm never going back to Oregon ever again.
He fell asleep in the strip club and they paid some stripper $20 to sit on his face until he woke up.
the tow truck driver and i bonded while discussing our experiences with four lokos
Just threw up in my seat during the national anthem. Probably not good.
Well let's just say that she ended up trying to get it in with the wheelchair guy, who btw, can get an erection and quickly I might add
She had me dip my balls in cake batter ice cream from cold stone and then tea bag her. Let's get weird just got a whole new meaning.
At least is you came to Milwaukee to visit me you'd get the best mind blowing sex of your life and free wifi. Who doesn't want free wifi!
I have a terrible feeling that I made out with a fraternity last night
DO NOT THROW SOUP AT YOUR SCREEN
When you leave ur sleepover boy on ur front porch waiting for a cab bc work
If I don't wake up tomorrow you inherit my paycheck and can only spend it at cinnabon
Randomize
